I'm on the right track baby... we're you born this way??

So I think you can guess by my title what we talked about in class this week. haha Gender roles and understanding same-sex attraction. It has always intrigued me that people would say that gays where born gay and there is no changing it. But is that true? I found out this week. A therapist that helps men change from gay to straight talked about the contributing factors in becoming gay. Some of them are:

Bullying: Of course I knew that kids at school would tease other boys that were not as "boyish" as others, but I never thought of bullying in the home. Older brothers teasing younger ones can really hurt brothers that look up to older siblings.
Father Hungry: Without a father in the home to help, support, and to just be with their son, the child at home can become confused on how to act like a boy and live life without a father. What would it be like if your father never was around or completely out of your life?
Mother Confusion: There are many cases where the mother can be in control of the relationship between husband and wife, or the child is too close to the mother..
Sexual Touching: One of the men that was being interviewed stated that when he was 2 he was molested by a male and he was only told about it when he was older and he believe that he was born that way! Maybe it was this experience that made him question his sexuality.
and Pornography: Pornography had an introduction to thought and feeling that were not there before and creates a feeling of intimidation and lack of self-esteem.

As I watched this film, I realized that it is still possible for people to change and become who they want to be. I know that we all have trials in life, but we can always change. No person is just born one way or another. We can always change our ways and our habits. I loved the interview between those that changed to like girls again, and the joy they felt because they fit in again and began to have higher self-esteem. I learned from these men that we all have a divine role and that God loves us and wants us to be happy. He knows that happiness comes through keeping eternal laws and divine roles in our lives.

If you want to watch this video here it is! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJhyzqdzpnM 

Culture. Kultura. Cultura.

So today's topic is Culture.  I wonder how culture even are started. Culture is defined as an inherited behavior or way of thinking. Culture is a norm or tradition in the family, race, different places to live, and even religion. To me, culture is something that we are so comfortable with that we don't even realize other families or races do anything different than our way of living.

I remember when I was living in the Philippines for about a year and a half serving for my church, I was absorbed in a world with a different culture and language. I never thought that culture shock was a real thing, but boy howdy! It was true to the meaning. It was shocking. I remember walking into my first apartment and seeing the conditions. No AC. Doing laundry by hand. No toilet paper. Bucket showers. and No clean water (we had to pump our water for showers, washing dishes, and doing laundry) You can call me a brat, but I don't know how to live without these things! I never realized that not only anyone can live without those things but it is a totally NORMAL thing! I remember crying a little in my bed thinking "What am I doing here?" I mean. I don't think anyone can just be used to these thinks right off the bat especially after an 18 hour flight and one emotional jet lag-ed girl lost and confused with no one to talk to in an unknown world.

Now, thinking of my whole experience of my mission in the Philippines, the things that made me cry of despair and sadness, now make me cry wishing I could go back and live like that again. The culture of the Philippines is AMAZING. The people are the sweetest people you will ever met! They are respectful, modest, loving, and family is number one. Families live together to help the elderly, save as much money as possible, and that is just simply culture!

During class this week, we talked a lot about the Mexican culture and how there is a huge culture cross with Mexican culture and American culture, and something I never thought about is that the "Mexican culture" that we all know here in America is completely different that the culture they have in Mexico! As we were talking about all the different struggles of a strong family trying to make it to America for a better life, they begin to realize that their dream might be a nightmare. The father struggles to get jobs and the mother begins to enter the work force and loses her relationship with her children and when they finally make it, the living conditions are hard and the family is struggling. As we were talking about this I realized that they also have a culture shock and have to change their traditions or customs for American customs and traditions.

As we were talking about this, I was overwhelmed with the thought of me struggling moving to the Philippines and compared it to others moving to America and struggling with disappointment and trying to love the "American dream." I was overwhelmed with emotion in realizing that I have misjudged other races like Mexican or Koreans and trying to keep old traditions from their homeland and get along and understand our traditions and customs. So maybe when you see a party in the park on Sunday with pinatas and a Mexican BBQ, think about their cultures and traditions then think about yours and hopefully you realize, just like me, that we all have norms and inherited behavior that keeps friends and family together.

So that is my two cents for this week in learning about the family and culture. Hope you liked it! So what do you believe about family culture? What is a tradition in your family? One for example, for me, every Christmas Eve, we would open new PJs, then all of the siblings would make a fort and all 8 of us would sleep together waiting impatiently for Santa to come. How about getting married? Which traditions will you keep? Will you start new traditions? What do you think?

Rules.

Okay. So another good week learning about the family. Today I wanted to talk about rules of the family. Isn't it funny that we are all have family and we all know what family life is but we have so many different ways of being in a family and how the family works. I never realized how different raising a family was until I started seriously dating and then marrying my husband. We are a LOT alike, but at the same time SO different.

One of the things that makes the family different is the rules of the home. In class this week, we wrote down 8-10 rules of the home that were unspoken lists of acceptable/unacceptable behaviors in my personal family. Believe it or not, it was actually a challenge to think about the different rules in my families. However I found 8 different rules and they are: 

1. NO screaming whatsoever. (when we were babies if we ever screamed because we wanted something... we learned our lesson from my father) 
2. Dad makes the money and mom takes care of the kids
3. Young children go to bed earlier than older children
4. No back talking mom. Ever.
5. Ask Dad first then mom- Dad will always say yes haha
6. Dinner is at the dinner table
7. Dad controls the thermostat
8. There is always a snack after schoolSo what are some of YOUR family unspoken rules? How did you learn about them? experience? watching another siblings?

Another thing I learned is that in a well functioning family, rules help maintain order and stability while at the same time allowing changes with changing circumstances. We are all growing and because of that we are all changing and evolving into different people. Our rules are what set us free and make us closer with our family.

Delay Marriage??

So this week I learn a LOT about the family and I honestly can't decide what I want to talk about... population, the new trends in America, the new law in the US concerning the gay/lesbian getting married. I am sure that one day I will talk about all of these topics... but today is not that day..

One of the things that I wanted to talk about was delayed marriage. I really felt that it was important issue and decided to dedicate this blog post to it today. As I was studying about delayed marriage (one of the new trends in America) it really intrigued me why people now-a-days don't get married. (I recently got married and I LOVE marriage and I wondered why no one wants to do the same) anyways, as I was studying I came across a study on single mothers and how they contribute to delayed marriage and why it was more common in single mothers than single fathers.

In the study, it stated that no matter what, children that grow up in non-traditional family may learn that marriage is not important since they have seen the example of single parents. Parents have a strong example to their children. As the exposure and duration of a single parent family structure will increase chance of delayed marriage.

So why single mothers? In this study it stated that single mothers socialize their offspring toward more independence and non-gender rules in work and family. The statement that really made me thing was that girls and young women attach to the single mother as a role model and identify themselves with them, whereas men find a different male role model. WOW. that is so true. I have a friend that is really close to her single mother before she passed away, and she was best friends with her mother. I mean it is just a thing that women do. (well most) They connect with other women! that is just a thing we do, especially a mother-daughter relationship.

I never realized that the example of the home that someone lives in growing up can effect a delay in marriage. I would love to hear some things that caused you to delay marriage? why do people do that?

As I am married to my best friend, I have found continuous happiness. When I was single, I would find burst of happiness once and a while but then I would always be looking for the next burst of happiness, whether it is doing a dare, kissing a boy, or having a fun weekend. But now, it is a continual happiness always then bursts of happiness whether it was making up after a heated discussion, laughing at each other, or doing something adventurous together. I realize that we are growing together and becoming one every day. Marriage is great and it is even greater when you are NOT delaying it.

I want to know what you think! Comment below. Thanks for listening! Peace.

Howdy Y'all. Yes y'all is a word and it is used frequently in my home. I am from Oklahoma and live on a ranch, raising black Angus cattle. My dad is a hard-worker and provides for my mother and their 8 children. Family is a big deal in my life, and it always will.

This blog is dedicated to the family and its role in the society and the world we live in. Keep reading! I KNOW you will have something to learn and discuss about this amazing and constantly changing topic.