Conflict and Fathers

One of the great experiences I have had with my family is the relationship with my father. I have learned things from him that have helped me so much in my future. One of them is the relationship between conflict and peace. As conflicts arise in family situations, we tend to have something I call a pride war. There is a battle between what the one things opposed to the other. Each others pride gets mixed in with the conflict at hand and no one wins. I know that the bigger concern however, is whats right not who.

Through all the conflict and crisises in my life, my father has always been there for me and our family. He has always been a great example to me by doing the best things for my family even if it is a big sacrifice for him. As being a role model is not a simple or easy task. In the way that fathers treat other people, spend their time and money, and handle the joys and stresses of life, they provide a template of living for their children that often proves critical in guiding the behavior of their children, for better or worse.

As we come together with family, I am so blessed to have a great family that can always learn from the mistakes of our past through coping through our conflicts in life our family is greatly blessed my a strong father and Father in Heaven.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Why do bad things happen to good families??

When I was on my mission in the Philippines I was asked that question a lot. I even asked it a time or two in my lifetime and even to the people in the Philippines that were so great and loving, but still had hard trials in their lives. Sometimes when this question is not answered, we blame God. Today i hope to finally answer the question we all ask at least one point in our lives.

So why? Some of the reasons are opportunities to
1. Strengthen relations in our family and/or friends
2. We become greater. We can show ourselves what we are made of!!

An excellent example of this is hearing my parents talking about how poor they were when they were first married and they say they miss it!! Why on Earth would anyone miss being poor! They always have talked so fondly of that time. As we discussed the reasons why this could be such an amazing experience for my parents amongst something that is a big trial. One of the reasons is that my parents became stronger together. They grew stronger together through relying on each other, knowing what and how the money is spent and having the opportunity to help and support each other in hard times. I also believe that they learned to be happy with the small and simple things.Which brings me to another thought. What would happen if nothing bad ever happened and everything was great?

I know that we are not able to understand all the reasons why things happen that are difficult, but I know that we are able to have compassion and empathy for others that could be going through hard/ difficulties that we have gone through. We can be their angel sent to answer their prayers. I know from personal experience the feeling of needing help and that help finally coming.

In Chinese the word crisis means this -> 危機 and translated to English it means: danger and opportunity/chance. I know that crises in our lives can give us the opportunity to change and the chance to be closer to our friends, family, and our Savior.

Infidelity

So... why do people cheat on their significant other? As we talked about infidelity, we identified these steps.

1. Thoughts: It begins with the mind. We talked about fantasy and the effect of thinking about other people than your spouse.

2. Visual: Pornography, looking and admiring, and comparison of others and their bodies.

3. Romantic/ Emotional: connecting with others emotionally or even spiritually.

As we began talking, it is interesting that those that commit infidelity, usually never expected it. It usually just happens with old friends or those that share or shared personal/emotional/spiritual experiences. It is not just physical like I assumed. One of the greatest ways to have infidelity is at work. Those that are at work begin to gossip or talk about others and their personal life and begin to have friends and some of them become more than that.

I was told a story of a man at work that became friends with a women next to her. She was cute, sweet, and they had a lot in common. As the days, weeks, and months went on the man realized that he was starting to have a connection with this woman and he did not want that. So he went to his boss and requested to move, his boss first refused then as the man told his boss of the situation, he said of course and the man was moved. I realized by this story that infidelity is a choice and it can be a avoided. I know that some of the greatest sorrow is from infidelity, so BE STRONG and work through your problems and love the one you are with.